Marriage as a Spiritual Practice
PHOT: UNSPLASH Nathan Dumlao
THE RITE OF MARRIAGE
by Mama Medicine | DEBORAH HANEKAMP
Romantic love reflects the number one lesson that divine love wants to teach us: patience. We put so much pressure on ourselves to find love within a certain timeline but we find that connection when we arrive in a space of total patience and knowing ourselves.
Because this person we choose to marry is a mirror to our flaws and characters, marriage can bring up questions of self and family. You see women freaking out before a wedding, but it’s not about a dress or a cake. It is a grieving of leaving behind one family and moving into the unknown with this other person.
Marriage is a really powerful rite of passage that shifts things in a relationship. Sometimes people get married to complete their work cycle together and then they go separate ways. This rite of passage is not about paperwork but a ceremony and celebration to honor the mirror that you’ve found in the love that you share
If you are getting close to that rite of passage, take note of the peaks and valleys and what arise through the obstacles you face. Ask yourself: How is my internal reality creating my external reality?
Commit To Yourself
Before you commit to another person, create a family and a partner in yourself. Promise to show up for yourself with the level of partnership you want someone to give to you.
Dress up, write vows, jump the broom, draw a line in the sand, create a passageway to cross through to a stage of self appreciation. Get a ring if that feels significant. It is a big commitment so it’s okay if you’re reading this now and you want to do it in a few months. You can have friends there and make it a celebration or keep it personal. This is not in a self-involved ritual; this is in a way to heal past pain and find resolution.
The Spiritual Purpose of Marriage
In regard to spiritual life, the purpose of marriage is to expand our awareness from simply thinking about ourselves to thinking about others. In marriage we look after a wife or husband with love and support. We protect and care for our children when they are young, and help them to make their way in life through providing a good education and support for them as young adults.
But there is a deeper aspect of marriage that applies to spiritual growth specifically. It provides us with the opportunity to balance the male and female energies within ourselves. A marriage can help us to develop qualities within ourselves that we need for our own inner balance and further spiritual growth. This happens as a couple engages in their spiritual life together on a daily basis. Since the purpose of the spiritual life is inner freedom in God, we need to understand how to work toward this inner freedom in marriage. Only by becoming complete within ourselves is inner freedom possible.
This explanation is not what most people have in mind when they think about the purpose of marriage. But it is the spiritual purpose, and it is what gives a marriage deep fulfillment and meaning. It is this deeper purpose that can make all the effort that goes into a successful marriage truly worthwhile. Knowing this also helps us understand how to choose a marriage partner that can help us in this particular way.
As a marriage matures, and the people in it grow spiritually (from their own daily spiritual efforts), there develops a feeling of divine friendship between a couple, rather than a strictly male/female relationship.
An inspiring text on treating Marriage as a Spiritual Practice
Dr. Anderson is receiving speaking requests from all over the country to present this exciting new model of marriage. Couples are hungry for new ideas about how to make their marriages the best they can be. This book delivers a mix of the best of modern knowledge about marriage with a spiritual model that sees daily married life as sacred and rich with potential for personal and spiritual growth.
