Raising Self Reliant Kids
Learned Self-reliance
The Negative Effects of Spoiling Children
When children are spoiled we do them a great disservice because they are not being allowed to earn and learn.
Parents are moved by instinct to love, nurture, and provide for their offspring. Because our children are so much a part of us, we want to see them blissfully happy. Also, our own desire to be liked, materialist pressures, and a fervent wish that our children have everything we lacked as youngsters can prompt us to spoil them. However, while it might seem that buying your child expensive gifts will give them fond memories of childhood or that you can heal your emotional wounds by doting on your sons and daughters, you may be unconsciously interfering with your children’s evolutional development. One of the most precious gifts you can grant your children is the true independence they gain when they learn to earn what they covet and become stewards of their own happiness. Try allowing your children to experience life to the fullest. Let them work and earn what they want. When the time comes for them to go to college and enter the workforce, you will have the confidence that yo! u have raised a child that can both enter and contribute to society confidently.
When children are not afforded the opportunity to explore self-reliance, to understand that with possession comes price, and to fulfill their own needs, they develop a sense of entitlement that blinds them to the necessity of hard work and the needs of others. We may spoil children because giving them gifts is pleasurable. Or we may want to avoid conflict out of fear that our children won’t love us. Yet children who are given acceptance, love, and affection in abundance are often kinder, more charitable, and more responsible than those whose parents accede to their every material demand. They develop a strong sense of self that stretches beyond possessions and the approval of their peers, and as adults they understand that each individual is responsible for building the life they desire. If you find yourself giving in to your child’s every whim, ask yourself why. You may discover that you are trying to answer for what you feel is lacking in your own life.
Rearing your children to respect the value of money and self-sufficiency as they grow from infants to young adults is a challenging but rewarding process. It can be difficult to watch a child struggle to meet a personal goal yet wonderful to be by their side as they achieve it. Your choice not to spoil your children will bless you with more opportunities to show them understanding and compassion and to be fully present with them as they journey toward adulthood.
9 Ways to Encourage Self-Sufficiency in Young Kids
By KERRY- @ Self Sufficient Kids
Are you eager to have your young kids do more for themselves?
Here are nine ways to encourage and raise self-sufficient kids.
While some independence comes naturally for kids, other tasks require coaching. In order to make the transition from dependence to self-sufficiency smoother, here are a few tips to keep in mind:
Identify opportunities
Sometimes getting kids to be more self-sufficient simply requires parents to be on the lookout for tasks kids can begin to do on their own. Perhaps your child doesn’t actually need you to make their breakfast for them anymore? Or she is at the point of being able to brush her own hair? Often we become so accustomed to doing things for our kids that we forget to question whether they are developmentally ready to do them on their own.
Don’t overwhelm
Once you’ve identified a task or two your child could begin to do on their own, introduce the concept of independence one task at a time. Having kids tackle too many new skills at once can be overwhelming and discouraging.
Patience is a virtue
Just like the shoe tying, it takes an ENORMOUS amount of patience to stand back and let kids tackle tasks on their own. Often some of the most simple chores can take kids what seems like an eternity to finish.
But letting kids do chores on their own – with supportive coaching – can build their self-esteem and independence. Taking over a task your child is trying to master sends the message they’re not capable of doing the task on their own.
It might mean building in a bit more time in your day initially to let kids struggle with their new independent task, but your patience should pay off in the long run as children become more independent.
Downsize
Sometimes chores are tricky for kids because the tools needed to complete the task aren’t made for small hands and body.
Forget Perfection
Your kids will not clean up spilled milk as well as you do or make their beds to your level of perfection.
And that’s OK.
The first hurdle is for them to feel capable of doing these tasks on their own and taking on responsibility. Later, you could say: “Can I give you a tip about how to make your bed really smooth?” or “You probably didn’t realize it but you missed a spot when wiping up the milk.”
Bite Your Tongue
Critiquing the way your daughter picked up her room is only going to make her feel incapable of doing it on her own.
Instead, praise the effort first and then ask if she’d like a few pointers on how to make her bookshelf even neater. It’s tricky initially to hold back comments when you know a task can be done better, but restraint will help build your child’s confidence in the long run.
Remember, kids often have no context for what is considered “good” or even “good enough”. Gently guiding them towards an understanding of doing a task well may take some time and coaching.
Raise helpers
Having kids take part in family chores not only builds their self-esteem but also encourages greater self-sufficiency.
How to Raise Self Sufficient Teens
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